I get it.
Me walking Sherman and Leroy is a site to see for most people. They are large and I am small. Together they outweigh me by 180 pounds, give or take a few.
I get it.
But why, oh why do people have to be so corny about it?
I mean, I am a sociable person, especially when it comes to talking about the dogs, but when I am out for a walk with them I am in my “thinking zone” and if you and I are going to stop and chat let’s make it worth both of our time.
Usually a walk doesn’t go by without someone saying something, and I am always cordial. I force out a smile, I give a little giggle, and I make the best attempt possible NOT to role my eyes or respond with what the voices in my head are telling to me to say.
Take these scenarios, for example.
1. Silly Person: Are those bears you are walking there?
Voices in my head-Yeah. I am walking 2 kodiak bears on a leash, in Ohio, down a main street.
2. Silly Person: Who’s walking who? (usually followed by a stupid laugh.)
Voices in my head-I am walking my dogs. Don’t you see that? They are walking right alongside me, they are not pulling me? I have worked very hard on getting them to walk so nicely. They stop when I tell them to stop, they speed when up I tell them too. I am walking my dogs and you have a weird laugh.
3. Silly Person: They should be wearing one of those barrels around their neck.
Voices in my head-This is a Newfoundland, not a St. Bernard, dufus. Have you ever seen an all brown St. Bernard? Oh, and we’re not in the mountains and they are not rescuing people trapped under 50 feet of snow……..and we don’t carry brandy in a barrel anymore we carry the brandy in a thermos in our backpacks.
4. Silly Person: They must eat you out of the house.
Voices in my head-Yes, they ate my whole house and now I live in a cardboard box, until they decide to eat that too.
5. Silly Person: My wife’s sisters husbands uncle once had one of these.
I get this all the time. Everybody’s wife’s sisters husbands uncle has owned a Newf, which is very surprising to me.
Me-Oh, did your wife’s sisters husbands uncle have a brown Newf?
Silly Person: No. It was a light golden color.
Me-So your wife’s sisters husbands uncle had a Golden Retriever?
Silly person: Yeah…..that’s what it was, but it was bigger than yours.
Voices in my head: It’s been nice talking to you sir but you have already wasted 5 minutes of my life that I will never be able to get back. Good day.
Is it just me or do you get crazy questions when you are out walking your dogs too?