Aug
2012
Why I Wish My Dogs Could Go To School With My Kids.
Tomorrow is back to school for the kids.
Gracie is super excited to go into second grade and Bobby is semi-excited to enter into fifth grade.
I’m torn. I’m excited for them to be excited but of course I’m bummed that they are growing up so quickly. I obviously am having emotional issues with dogs and people in my life getting older.
I worry about kids in general these days. Things are way different now then they were when I was a kid. I don’t ever remember a kid bringing a weapon to school, the weapon of choice was our mouths and our fists. No one ever threatened to blow the school up with a bomb. We didn’t play games with products that could kill us and we didn’t have strangers lurking around trying to sell us drugs. My parents weren’t concerned that anyone was going to steal me when I got off the bus and buses were considered safe.
And bullying, how did that get so bad?
Picked on was what we called it back in the day. It wasn’t bullying, it was being picked on. Whatever you called it, it’s not right, but unfortunately it happened, but not like it happens today. It didn’t start so young. There wasn’t anti-bullying campaigns because it was out of control. We didn’t have to take a class on bullying in second grade, and we didn’t have to sign a contract against bullying. Now, I don’t think any of these things are bad, I just don’t think at 7 years old I even knew what a bully was.
My kids both know what bullying is. They have known what it is for a few years.
Bobby was the unfortunate victim of bullying in third grade.
In third grade, my son was being bullied.
It was an awful experience for us as a family.
For two months we had no idea why our son did not want to go to school.
It started off with the fake sickness and then when we caught on, it was tons and tons of tears at night before bed and in the morning as the bus came into view my son turned into a puddle.
Putting my son on the bus in tears was horrible.
Not knowing why he was in tears was even more horrible.
No matter how hard we tried to get him to talk to us he wouldn’t say a word. Then the calls from the school nurse started. “Bobby’s not feeling well and he is very upset. Can you come get him?” the school nurse would say.
After about the tenth phone call in 3 weeks,I was a basket case. I left work in tears to go pick him up. The nurse, the principal and the head secretary were all baffled. We knew we had a problem but finding out what it was was proving to be impossible.
Finally I made an appointment with the pediatrician to discuss the issues we were having and to see if he could help us get to the bottom of the issues, maybe refer us to someone. I didn’t know, I was desperate. On the way to his doctor’s appointment, Bobby spilled the beans.
He was being bullied by a kid in his class and at one point in time the kid told Bobby that if he told anyone he knew that he was bullying him, he knew where he lived and he would come and kill his Mom.
An eight year old child told my eight year old son he would kill me.
At first I was relieved, finally I had an answer to Bobby’s misery. Then I got angry. Really angry. First because poor Bobby had been dealing with all this for so long. I mean can you imagine being eight and someone telling you that they were going to kill your Mom?
I immediately went home and called the principal and requested a conference with her and Bobby’s teacher asap. I threw in the words, “He’s being bullied in YOUR school and I want answers, now.
The meeting started off cordial and then when I found out that the kid that was bullying Bobby had a history of doing this, I got a bit tiffed. When I was told that the kid had a bad home life and they didn’t want to make his time at school bad too, I said, “So that makes it right for this kid is making my home life bad?” I don’t think so. When the teacher told me she had noticed this kid picking on Bobby, all the cordialness in my body magically disappeared.
Even after 2 years this is still so emotional for me.
Bobby’s young, he bounced back from this, and was a completely different child after he was able to talk it through.
I have never gotten over seeing my child go through this.
So here’s my thing. Do I feel100% percent feel safe with my kids going to school?
No.
Who the hell is watching out for them when they are there?
Now I know I can’t be with them 24/7, that would just be embarrassing for them, but what if my dogs could accompany them to school?
I know that they would be safe.
They wouldn’t be bullied because they would have 150lbs of lean, fluffy, slobbery muscle by their side. Not that the dogs are viscous, but would you mess with someone with a 150lb slobbery dog next to them?
The dogs would make sure my kids are safe, they would protect them and lead them away from danger, just like they do at home. They would put themselves between them and danger.
And not only that, dogs are great stress relievers and great conversation starters.
Instead of “I’m going to kill your Mom.”
You would have, “What kind of dog is that?” How much does he weigh? How much does he eat? Does he sleep with you?” “Can I pet him?”
So yes, if Sherman and Leroy were accompanying Bobby and Gracie to school this year, I would be a bit more relaxed for the next 10 months.
Kelli
August 21, 2012 at 1:23 am (302 days ago)Word.
I am almost in tears reading this.. b/c I have a tender hearted son starting KG.. diving right into the school system. That I trust and don’t trust at the same time.
So the kid’s home life was bad so they wanted to let him do whatever he wanted at school? How about when you notice him destroying other children emotionally you step in and get him some help. My Mama Bear instincts are coming out and it is your child I am reading about. I can’t imagine how you handled that and understand why it is still emotional for you.
xoxo
Jen
August 22, 2012 at 12:17 am (301 days ago)I hear you Kelli and I am sorry if I made you nervous about your sons first day of kindergarten, It’s an exciting and scary time! My son had a great start to school until her got to third grade. It was just a bad year in general. He had always had wonderful teachers and we had no problems. We had numerous issues with his third grade teacher, including the bullying incident. One month after this all happened she changed the kids seats and put Bobby right next to the boy that we had the issues with! When Bobby came home and told me this I had the phone in my hand ready to call but he told me he already asked the teacher to move him! After that we almost requested that he be moved to another class, but Bobby asked us not to. The whole school year was horrible, Bobby got over the bullying and didn’t have any issues with the boy after this but the issues with the teacher continued, but that’s another blog post:)
Kelli
August 21, 2012 at 1:24 am (302 days ago)and the pics of the kids and dogs are BEYOND sweet.
Jen
August 22, 2012 at 12:17 am (301 days ago)Thank you!
Bassetmomma
August 21, 2012 at 2:37 am (302 days ago)That is just so horrible what happened to Bobby! Thank goodness you finally got to the root of it and it got stopped. I would worry so much if I had kids in school now a days. I worry all the time when my grand kids go to school. So, after you send Sherman and Leroy to school with your kids, maybe you can lend them to me for my grandkids!
Jen
August 22, 2012 at 12:19 am (301 days ago)I was so relived wen we got to the bottom of it and Bobby was too!
I think Fred and Gloria would have the same affect with your grandkids:) They would be great distracters!
sprinkles
August 21, 2012 at 3:16 am (302 days ago)I’m so sorry Bobby had to go through all that! You’re a really good mom though. I was bullied at school too. When I told my mom about it, her response was, “I’m sorry!” I wish she would have taken the time to contact the school or my teacher and find out what was going on.
I worked with a woman for awhile that I honestly believe was a bully in school. She never did anything to me physically, but she was nasty to me every chance she got. I don’t work there anymore. On the rare occasions when she sees me in town somewhere, she doesn’t even acknowledge me. At first it bothered me, but now I’m glad she doesn’t. It means I don’t have to acknowledge her either.
Wishing your kids lots of luck this school year! I go back next week.
Jen
August 22, 2012 at 12:23 am (301 days ago)I’m sorry to hear that you were bullied at school, no one should have to go through that ever. I know what you mean about seeing the person, I see this kid at Bobby’s school every once in awhile and while I know he is just a kid I cringe when I see him. One day he walked up to me(he can look me in the eye and outweighs me) and said, “Are you Bobby’s Mom?” I was like “Yup.” and then the teacher walked up and told me I should leave the room because she didn’t want a scene. I wasn’t going to make a scene and I was quite offended that the teacher told me to leave.
Misaki
August 21, 2012 at 5:14 am (302 days ago)Hope your kids have a better time of it at school this year. I think having dogs at school would be a great idea, not only in behavioural terms but also to learn how to interact with dogs and not be scared of them.
Jen
August 22, 2012 at 12:24 am (301 days ago)Thank you, and I think so too. I have read about a few schools that actually use dogs in the anti-bullying programs. I think that it is a wonderful idea.
Finn
August 21, 2012 at 5:55 am (302 days ago)Oh I am so sorry about this experience with your son. I hope that they have a good time in school this year. I wish I had had dogs like yours and mine to go with me to school too!
Jen
August 22, 2012 at 12:25 am (301 days ago)Thank you, I hope they have a great year too, but I can’t help but worry:)
2 brown dawgs
August 21, 2012 at 7:15 am (302 days ago)The Newfs could accompany your kids as service animals.
Sorry for poor Bobby. That stinks.
I think the difference between then and now is that parents were notified of problems. There was not this wall of silence between school and parent. I have friends who have gone through similar issues and to try to get the school to acknowledge and help was a losing battle. If you noticed the problem with Bobby’s not wanting to be at school, I am sure the teacher did too. Plus the teacher apparently had a suspicion as to the cause. Now why could she not have clued you in?
Jen
August 22, 2012 at 12:28 am (301 days ago)I thought about that too!
I think your right about the differences now vs then. The schools would prefer not make waves with the bullying. In all honestly I think the teacher knew exactly what was going on but she wasn’t going to bother herself with it. She was not a teacher who had a passion for teaching, that was obvious.
houndstooth
August 21, 2012 at 8:37 am (302 days ago)You’d be amazed what kids know these days. A few years ago, I had a three-year-old give me an anatomy lesson that involved things even I didn’t know. His mom was a part-time prostitute. I’ve had more than a few kids tell me about seeing their parents get arrested. There have been certain little boys and girls that I could never let out of my sight or allow to play in the living center together because they would end up kissing and worse. Twenty little bodies are in my room, all with a different history and tale to tell, and with a lot of baggage that I’ll never know about or see. We work hard to teach our kids to be assertive for themselves and not to let others do things they don’t like. It’s a lot easier said than done. I’m sorry Bobby had such a hard time!
Jen
August 22, 2012 at 12:31 am (301 days ago)Now your freaking me out even more! but you have a good point. Kids are exposed to a lot more these days and I think they grow up quicker than we did, which is sad. We have always taught Bobby and Gracie to not keep secrets from us and that if they have a problem, we can’t help them if we don’t know about it. Easier said then done:(
Eva or sometimes Priscilla
August 21, 2012 at 8:50 am (302 days ago)Hope everything goes smoothly when the kids are back to school. Kids are so different nowadays and we could only wonder where the innocent age has gone. So sorry that Bobby had a hard time at school but really glad that he bounced back and is a happy boy now.
Jen
August 22, 2012 at 9:53 am (301 days ago)Thank you, I am sure they will be fine. I just always have this incident in the back of my head and I probably always will until they are done with school! I think it’s so much harder to be a kid these days!
caren gittleman
August 21, 2012 at 9:34 am (302 days ago)((((hugs)))) to you for being an observant, sensitive and “hands on” parent and ((((hugs)))) to Bobby for having been open with the doctor and forging his way through this. When we were in school there were always bullies but they were nothing like the kids have to endure today
Jen
August 22, 2012 at 9:55 am (301 days ago)Thanks Caren. I honestly think that I missed the early signs but I’m not sure if I could of done anything different if I would of known sooner.
There was bullies when I was in school too, just nothing to this extent that I am aware of, and not this young. It’s so sad.
Flea
August 21, 2012 at 9:53 am (302 days ago)I put my kids in school after homeschooling for years. The youngest went in at fourth grade. It wasn’t till seventh grade that we found out he was being bullied. He’d ecome an entirely different child. Then he started cutting himself. So we pulled him out of school and he’s been homeschooled again the last year and a half. He’s back to being the kid I know, and pursuing real world interests, not school regimented stuff. It’s tough. Now you know the signs. Good or you and your mom radar.
Jen
August 22, 2012 at 9:57 am (301 days ago)I am so sorry to hear that you and your son had to go through this, no one should ever have to deal with this with their children. My heart breaks for you and for your son, but I am glad that you found a way to get him through it. Homeschooling has honestly crossed my mind more than once, and if I thought I could be a worthy teacher for them I think I would do it.
Lisa
August 21, 2012 at 9:53 am (302 days ago)Oh my goodness, we have 6 incredible children and have dealt with them going through this but never to this extreme. As I read this I found myself tearing up and my blood boiling, I can’t thank you enough for sharing this story. My kids range from 22 to 6 and I am going to read this to all of them so they have some insight but also to let them know how wrong this is. It rocks me to the very core to think of what kids face today compared to our trials growing up. Hugs to Bobby and wow to the school for allowing this to go on, knowing it was going on! SHAME ON THEM!!!~
Jen
August 22, 2012 at 1:25 pm (301 days ago)Thank you for sharing Lisa. I’m sorry to hear that each of your children had to go through something like this at one pint in time. I could barely handle it this one time, let only 6 times. I can only imagine how difficult that was for you and your children, but it sounds like you are doing a fantastic job! you are all doing well!
The ironic thing about my son being bullied is we never really thought it would happen to him. He’s a big kid for his age, he looks me right in the eye, he’s a linebacker, etc. My thought was if any kid would pick on him they would be crazy. Well obviously this kid was, and he was the only one in my son’s class that was taller than him and he outweighed him by an easy 50 pounds.
To say I was disappointed in the school would be an understatement. I will never trust them entirely. I do think that having gone through this issue with Bobby has helped him realize that if he is facing a problem at school, we are the ones that can help him.
Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning
August 21, 2012 at 10:04 am (302 days ago)Great post – it should appear in all school newsletters so parents AND school staff can see what happens when a child is the victim of bullies. As a former teacher, I can say it is not always apparent to the teacher what is going on, but in your situation that teacher should have taken action as soon as she was aware of it. I too am so sorry what Bobby had to endure and you too as his parent. I used to worry about my children when they were young students, but I think I worry even more for my grandchildren – not an easy wotld out there at all.
Here’s to your precious children and all children having a good year at school and many more to come.
Hugs, The OP Pack Mom
Jen
August 22, 2012 at 1:28 pm (301 days ago)It should. I am so emotional talking about this whole issue because when I look back on it now I can just see all the turmoil that it caused.
I totally understand that sometimes the teachers don’t see it because it could be happening at lunch, on the playground, on the bus, etc. But I think with Bobby the signs were all there for the school, the crying, the calls home, and the kids was seen and known for being a bully.
Thank you for the hugs:)
Jodi
August 21, 2012 at 10:15 am (302 days ago)This post made me sad. I’m sorry that you all had to go through this and it is not right that a kid with a bad home life can make himself feel better by picking on somone else. Why didn’t the school call the authorities on this kid’s parents?
When I went to school we didn’t have to deal with the kind of things kids today deal with, yes we had drugs and the ocassional bomb scare but no-one actually ever thought the school would blow up!
I am really afraid for my grandchildren and I will tell you truthfully, if I was of my child-bearing years I would seriously think about whether I wanted to bring children into this world.
Jen
August 22, 2012 at 1:33 pm (301 days ago)The answer we got for that was that the parents wouldn’t do anything because they had contacted them before about their son being a bully. Nice, right? So let’s just keep it going and ruin my son’s life.
We almost pulled him put of that school at one pint in time, but after our meeting things did get better. The principal made sure she has separate talk with the boys a few times a week for a month and at one point they had a meeting together. The kids stopped bullying Bobby, but I’m pretty sure he just moved onto to another boy.
Two French Bulldogs
August 21, 2012 at 10:29 am (302 days ago)Gracie you are going to be the prettiest girl in your class
Benny & Lily
Jen
August 22, 2012 at 1:33 pm (301 days ago)He-he, thank you:)))
Blueberry's human
August 21, 2012 at 10:56 am (302 days ago)Oh my goodness! That’s awful that Bobby had to go through that! Completely unacceptable that the school knew about it and decided to coddle the bully. What were they thinking?
I am glad that things have improved for him since then. I wonder if bringing the Newfs in for a show and tell or something like that would have been beneficial – even now I bet all the kids in class would think it was pretty cool. I don’t know if schools even allow that sort of thing. But you are right – if Leroy and Sherman were around, no one would even think to pick on your kids.
Jen
August 22, 2012 at 1:35 pm (301 days ago)I have thought about bringing the Newfs in but I’m pretty sure they have to have therapy cetificate in order to enter the school. Not 100% sure.
Julie
August 21, 2012 at 11:34 am (302 days ago)Hearing stories like this breaks my heart. Not only for the student being bullied, but also for the child that is bullying because of a “terrible home life”. How are the teachers helping him by allowing him to take it out on another child? It’s a horrible cycle that continues to repeat itself. I’m so sorry you had to go through this – I have a feeling that the kids with a horrible home life would benefit from having Leroy and Sherman around too!
I hope Gracie and Bobby have a safe and happy school year!!
Jen
August 22, 2012 at 3:41 pm (301 days ago)You are right Julie, their are not helping him at all and they are ruining good kids in the process. As of last this year this kid was still bullying other kids. Yes, he stopped bullying mine but then he moved on.
Jan
August 21, 2012 at 11:39 am (302 days ago)It is inexcusable that the school let this go on for so long even though the bully came from a “bad home life.” All they did was reinforce his anti social behavior and make school a frightening place for the other children. These school officials need to find a new line of work.
Jen
August 22, 2012 at 3:43 pm (301 days ago)The way I see the school focused on the problem that was in front of them, when they were confronted by us about it. They never really dealt with the “problem”. As far as I know this kid is still a bully. Sometimes I wonder if they just don’t know what to do when approached with an issue like this. I think it happens more than we know.
Nichole
August 21, 2012 at 11:54 am (302 days ago)Wonderful post… and oh so (scary) true. Hugs to Bobby… sad experience, but I’m glad he’s bounced back.
And yay, how about “take my dog to school” day — or year!
Jen
August 22, 2012 at 3:44 pm (301 days ago)Thank you and you know what, that is a wonderful idea! Take you dog to school day! I love it!
Amy@GoPetFriendly
August 21, 2012 at 1:06 pm (302 days ago)No wonder you’re worried about sending your kids off on the bus! I have no idea how someone looks at that bullying situation and makes a decision to let the cycle continue. Why not do something to improve that kid’s home life rather than allowing him to make another child (and his family) miserable?! Hugs to Bobby – that never should have happened to him.
I hope both kids have a great school year – and have you looked for small, brown, stuffed Newfies that you could send along with them?
Jen
August 22, 2012 at 6:14 pm (301 days ago)I honestly don’t know what happened. The school obviously knew the boy was a problem and had issues, from what I understand they did make a few tries to work with the parents, but nothing ever came through. I would have to say that based on that kid and that he is still in that school and bullying, they gave up.
I actually do have a small stuffed Newfie:)However, I have never let the kids have him:) He sits on my computer desk with me but I think I could lend him to them:)
rottrover
August 21, 2012 at 1:42 pm (302 days ago)Oh Jen, your love for your kids and for your dogs shines through in this post. I wish Sherman and Leroy could accompany Gracie and Bobby, too!!
Jen
August 22, 2012 at 6:16 pm (301 days ago)Awww, thank you. I do love them with all my heart and I just want what is best for them. It’s hard to see them all growing up!
Jackie
August 21, 2012 at 5:07 pm (302 days ago)Oh, this story makes me sad. Why do people have to be so mean to each other? It is so very different from when I was a kid. We had bullies too, but definitely not that bad. If only you could send the dogs along… I remember the bully in our neighborhood – he was named “Butch” – because what else are you going to be but a bully if your name is Butch? He was terrified of our beagle. Yeah – a sweet, funny beagle. So imagine how scared the bullies would be of 150lbs of dog.
I think it must be so hard to raise kids these days! I hope they manage to have a good school year!
Jen
August 22, 2012 at 6:18 pm (301 days ago)OMG a bully named Butch, now that fits. I have to think that bullies are insecure in other areas and they draw the focus away from themselves. It’s sad if you think about it, they just need someone to guide them.
Daisy
August 21, 2012 at 5:39 pm (302 days ago)What a terrible thing to happen to Bobby. Glad you took it to school to do something about it. Unfortunately, there are loads of people who ‘just want a baby’ but do not want to parent….it’s easier to let the kids do what they want. As a retired teacher, I see how difficult it is for parents who are trying to raise confident adults and do the right thing who come up against these unparented kids.
Bullying is a fact of life now….look at all those talent shows etc. where judges can say nasty things to people and people can get ‘voted’ off. It’s what kids are learning.
We have problems in our neighbourhood with break-ins. Whenever children meet the dogs on the street and ask if they bite. I always say ‘not when they’re out and with me.’ So far no problems.
XXXoOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy
Jen
August 22, 2012 at 6:22 pm (301 days ago)You are so right. All these shows out there are brutal on kids and their self-esteem. They do nothing to build confidence and teach very bad manners. Some of the things my kids say sometimes blow me away and I know they didn’t hear it from us!
I’m sorry to hear that you have problems in your neighborhood with breakdowns, I would do the same thing with my dogs, actually I might even say, “Yes they are trained to bite strangers!”
olivia rubin
August 21, 2012 at 7:20 pm (302 days ago)i dont know who is cuter, your skin or fur kids. Good luck…yeah i feel fortunate that i am returning to college with my ServiceDog. We already got our Masters Degree from Fordham University and I didnt have to worry about anyone bothering me on the NYC subways.
Most importantly your children have 2 friends to come home to and talk to. They have listeners in their Newfies and most importantly their mom
Jen
August 22, 2012 at 6:25 pm (301 days ago)Ha-ha! I know, some days it’s a toss up of who is cuter!
Congratulations on your Masters Degree! Having a dog on the NYC subway must of been so nice, knowing that you had that protection if needed!
The Newfs are really great listeners and I try to be too, sometimes I just think I miss things and that worries me:)
Pamela
August 21, 2012 at 8:59 pm (302 days ago)I’m so sorry for what happened to Bobby. And for how much he and your family suffered. I can’t imagine how worried you must have been and still are.
I will say that you have already provided a lot of protection for your kids. They’ve learned resilience. They’ve learned they can trust you to be on their side. They’ve learned that their creativity and nurturing will be encouraged. That’s better than even the most slobbery 150 pound Newfie.
Jen
August 22, 2012 at 6:27 pm (301 days ago)Thanks Pamela. It was a tough time for the family and a time that I will not soon forget. I think I and Bobby came away with a bit mor confidence after this. Him knowing that he can come to us and us knowing that he knows he can come to us and we will help, always!
Jen
August 22, 2012 at 12:31 am (301 days ago)Dogs at school are a great idea. It would be great socialization for the dogs too! I keep hinting that I should be able to have Elka at work, but there’s no light at the end of that tunnel.
The story of Bobby being bullied makes me livid. There were times I was “picked on” occasionally at school. You know what teachers told me, when I tried to go to them? They had to see it to be able to do anything. Eff that noise. I think that’s when I started getting thorny and….female dog-ish. If people in authority couldn’t help me, then I would help myself.
I’m glad that Bobby has bounced back. I don’t envy the teachers and principle who were the ones blithely telling you that they NOTICED your son IN TROUBLE with other kids. Ugh. They should be penalized. School shouldn’t be torture.
Jen
August 22, 2012 at 6:29 pm (301 days ago)I’m sorry you were picked at school. That drives me crazy when teachers try to look away. I know that kids can make up stories but if someone told me they were being picked on I would just make sure that I watched that much more carefully. For someone to feel like there is nowhere to turn, especially a child, is just wrong.
tylersat99
August 22, 2012 at 1:54 am (301 days ago)My oldest daughter was getting beat up at the bus stop after being let off. She’d did not tell me but when I went up to the driver she explained the situation. So Tyler (my golden Pyr) walked the mile to meet the bus each day. Tyler was not mean or aggressive but he was big and protective. We ended that and luckily the next year she was old enough to drive. I wish they were all that easy to solve:(
Jen
August 22, 2012 at 6:33 pm (301 days ago)That is just horrible and I’m so sorry to read this. The fact that you had to approach the driver not the driver approaching you is also horrible. It should of been immediately reported to the school.
I’m glad you were able to make the problem short lived but that still had to be very traumatic for you and your daughter.
I wish I could send the kids with a t-shirt that read ” You mess with me, you mess with my dogs”
bichonpawz
August 22, 2012 at 3:15 am (301 days ago)Ah Jen…my heart goes out to you. I can sympathize with you on this whole thing. I am so very glad that my daughter is out of school now. I just hate this whole bullying thing…and kids being afraid to go to school…it is AWFUL. Dreadful. I have a friend who decided to homeschool her kids for that very reason. They are both doing well and taking college courses now. What a world we live in. I wish your dogs could go with them too. I don’t blame you one single bit for being a basket case!!
Jen
August 22, 2012 at 10:08 pm (301 days ago)Thanks Jeanne. It stinks that one bad incident can ruin our outlook, but it happens. I am just so glad we got through it, but I feel for all these other kids and families that have to deal with it too. Bullying is a horrible thing no matter what the age.
Alfie |Alfie's Blog
August 22, 2012 at 6:43 am (301 days ago)Hey Jen, I’m coming over to help out herding your kids in school. I’m not big, I don’t eat much but I’m one hell of a watch dog and I hate bullies – I bet me, Sherman and Leroy would have the kids in school rounded up and well behaved in no time *waggy tail*
Jokes aside, my human knows exactly how your Bobby must have felt going through all that horrible stuff and she is so happy to hear it all worked out in the end.
Jen
August 22, 2012 at 10:09 pm (301 days ago)That sounds like a deal to me Alfie! We’ll be watching for you and we’ll leave the light on:)
Gina@dawsondogs.com
August 22, 2012 at 7:15 am (301 days ago)Its so hard to send them out there to school. I know that the schools are fighting hard against bullying, I drive school bus and we are constantly on the watch for it.
Jen
August 22, 2012 at 10:11 pm (301 days ago)That is so good to know Gina. I have never had any issues with our bus drivers. I actually think they are more on top of things than some of the teachers I have met! No disrespect meant for all the awesome teachers out there, I have only met 2 so far that have left me wondering why they are in this profession.
Julie, Leonardo and Grady
August 22, 2012 at 11:25 am (301 days ago)WOW did this hit home for me.
My two youngest have been bullied, and although the school “tried” to do something about it, the bullying continued. We also ran into the it’s their word vs the bully’s. Why in heaven’s name would any child make up that they were being bullied? My son is 12 and NOT into sports or band, but last year, in the 6th grade was doing 8th grade level math and science. He is kind, considerate, and helpful. The crap he went through was heartbreaking. My daughter receives some special services, but has the kindest and biggest heart of any child I know. She was made fun of by two of the biggest ^%$# I’ve ever seen. Even at school dances where I chaperoned. I nipped that crap in the bud myself. The schools response……. Mrs. T, if there are issues please let us address them and not take matters into your own hands. WRONG. We had what I call “a come to Jesus meeting” and between that and me promising to press charges against these brats and their parents in addition to suing the school district we were all of a sudden on the same page. I know my kids continued to ignore things that were/are being done and told me that “no one is going to ruin my day anymore” but dang it, why should this happen to begin with. OK done ranting and I too wish that Leo and Grady could sit in class with my kids. Good Job to Bobby for opening up.
Jen
August 22, 2012 at 10:16 pm (301 days ago)Gosh Julie, I am so sorry to read this and sorry that you and your children had to go through this. Good for you for standing up for your children and being there for them. Someone has too!
When we had the meeting with the principal and teacher, we each took turns speaking like adults. When they said they knew the boy had issues and that his home life was bad, the discussion got heated. I remember saying that I could go higher up if need be.
And a bit after all this went down, I went to pick Bobby up from class, the boy who was bullying him walked up to me and asked if I was Bobby’s Mom. I said Yup, and then the teacher walked up and told me to leave because she didn’t want any problems. Seriously? I lost all respect for that teacher.
Robin
August 22, 2012 at 2:52 pm (301 days ago)This makes me absolutely furious that the school staff will not step in and back you up even after witnessing it in person. That is ridiculous and pathetic to see a child being harmed, and I would think that there are specific rules that it has to be reported by a teacher.
I’m glad he bounced back but tell Bobby to keep his chin up and defend himself because he is absolutely worth it on every level!! He’s slated for bigger and better things and no one will take that away.
Good for you too for standing up!!
Jen
August 22, 2012 at 10:19 pm (301 days ago)Thanks Robin, the school step in to an extent when we met with them, but I know the kid is still a problem in school and Bobby has told me he bullies other kids now. So it makes me wonder how much they are really paying attention.
Bobby is doing fine, but I always wonder how much this really impacted him in the long run.
Vicki
August 22, 2012 at 7:30 pm (301 days ago)Jen, I was a victim of bullying when I was in school because I was always fat as a kid. I know what is like to be on the receiving end of this ordeal. Kudos to you and Bobby for getting to the heart of the matter.
My son Alex is a big kid with RED hair and freckles who also has been picked on FOREVER.
The most we can do as parents is help to diffuse a really bad situation and build confidence in our children so they, in turn, can deal with this type of situation on their own.
Both myself then Alex were able to build confidence in ourselves so mean spirited individuals no longer have a negative affect on us. I’m sure this is what Bobby learned from the experience and he knows you have his back!
Ask if there is a day during the school year that you can bring Sherman or Leroy in for show and tell. I took our fat cat Whiskers into Alex’s class one year. The kids LOVED it. Animals build bridges…
Jen
August 22, 2012 at 10:26 pm (301 days ago)Gosh Vicki, you know I am so sorry to read that you and your son had to through this too.
I’m sure you can tell by the pictures that Bobby is a big kid. I would say he is big boned verses fat, but I’m his Mom:) He has told me he has been called fat before in school, but the killer thing is that this kid that was bullying Bobby was the same age but 2 times bigger than him! So the biggest kid in the class was bullying the 2nd biggest kid in the class, maybe it made him feel better? Who knows.
Bobby is very hard on himself, which is why I worry about him. He is hard on himself with school, sports and a lot of other things, harder than most 10 year old kids should be. Sometimes I blame myself for this because I feel like I went wrong somewhere. I don’t know, I just really hope he knows we have his back, always!
I would love to bring the dogs to school one day and I know the kids would love it too, it’s the school I would have to convince!
Carol Bryant
August 22, 2012 at 10:57 pm (301 days ago)What a riveting post. Thank you for speaking up and for the bravery your son mustered to share this with you. I cannot imagine what you feel and felt, but know that your words make a difference. I am sharing this.
Jen
August 23, 2012 at 7:25 am (300 days ago)Thank you so much Carol. I’m not sure why it took me 2 years to muster up the courage to talk about this. What shocks me is hearing all the stories of people who have had to got through this. I feel for each and every one of them.
Erica
August 23, 2012 at 7:09 am (300 days ago)Brought tears to my eyes! My daughter had a similar incident with a “friend” this friend became very possessive of her and told her if she played with anyone else he’d break her finger. Thankfully my daughter told us about it and we were able to address it and she was strong enough to tell him she no longer wanted to be his friend. We have a Great Pyrenees and I too wish he could go to school with my girls. Nowadays, school is a pretty scary place.
Jen
August 23, 2012 at 7:27 am (300 days ago)Wow, I’m sorry to read this. It amazes me that kids think that these type of actions are o.k. I’m so glad your daughter told you and didn’t keep it from you and that you were able to rectify the situation early on. Good for you and your daughter!
melF
August 23, 2012 at 7:26 am (300 days ago)Got emotional on this one. Clearly, it his a nerve. As a child that was bullied throughout elementary school and high school (except the last two years), I totally understand your pain and anger. What makes me even more angry is hearing how the principal and the teacher allowed it to happen just to make the boy who was doing the bullying feel better. Do you think the bully felt better being allowed to continue? I don’t. I think that’s absolute B.S. I think they didn’t want to get involved. I think they violated their own anti-bulying policy. I saw it all of the time growing up.
I am glad Bobby is past it. I understand wanting to send Sherman and Leroy. You’re right, they would have diffused things. Great post Jen.
Jen
August 23, 2012 at 1:15 pm (300 days ago)Thanks for sharing Mel, I’m sorry if it brought up emotional times for you in the past. The whole experience with Bobby and revisiting it again has made me so emotional. It breaks my heart to read that such wonderful people such as yourself and all these wonderful kids today have to go through this. I understand that things happen with kids and it is all apart of the life but when someone has the opportunity to intervene and doesn’t, that’s when things get bad.
Bobby is past it now, but like you and many others have said, it is something that you will always remember.
SUGAR: goldenwoofs
August 27, 2012 at 1:11 am (296 days ago)Woof! Woof! We read this post before, mom was just emotional when she first read it n unable to comment. Totally understand how you feel.
BULLYING in any form is NOT all right. Wishing to stop … as bullying occurs not only among kids but also with adults. We might do a related post about this topic.
Golden Woofs, Sugar