My husband and I have extremely weird conversations in our house sometimes when it comes to the dogs.
I mean, to me they seem perfectly logical and to my husband, well he has just learned to adjust to them over the years, but to an outsider eavesdropping, they may seem just a wee bit weird.
Here’s just a few of the weird dialogues we shared this week:
Me to husband:
1. Do you have a yellow rain hat? You know like the Gordon Fisherman wears?
-husband-“No. I have a hood, but not a hat. Why?”
2. Was Leroy wearing my slippers when I was at work?
-husband-“Um, no. Why?”
-me-“They smell like his paws.”
-husband-“There’s something wrong with you. Why are you smelling your slippers?”
-me”Because they smell like Leroy’s paws. Duh.”
3. Does my hair look shiny today?
-husband-“A little. Why? What did you do to it?”
-me- “I had a little accident when giving the coconut oil it to the dogs today, and in accident I mean I scooped it out of the container and it flew into my hair.”
-husband-“Nice.” (shaking head)
Husband to me:
1. Where’s my yellow rain hood?
-me-“The Gordon Fisherman Hood?”
-husband-“Yes. The one you asked me about yesterday. It rained all day today at work and when I went to look for it, it wasn’t in my van.”
-me-“I have no idea where it is.”
2. Why did you buy Brussels Sprouts? No one in this house eats them.
-me-“I’m not telling.”
-husband-“Are you going to sneak them in the kids food or is it something “new” you just have to try for the dogs?”
-me- No. No one is going to eat them, ever.
-husband-” Oh. I didn’t know we were at that place in our lives where we could buy food that no one is going to eat, ever.”
-me-“They were $1.50. Come on. I need them for a blog post.”
-husband-“I don’t even want to know.”
-me-“Thank you. You wouldn’t understand anyway.”
3.”What was with the STRANGER DANGER text you sent me today?
-me-“STRANGER DANGER = GROUNDHOG DANGER. There’s a stupid groundhog that keeps popping up on our walks. ”
-husband-“And you felt the need to text me that while you were approaching a groundhog with (2) large dogs that could easily drag you down when they saw that groundhog?”
-me- “Yes. Not a wise choice on my part since as soon as I hit send on that text to you they saw the groundhog and lunged towards him and my phone went flying out of my hands into the bushes and it took me 10 minutes to find my phone, hence the reason why I didn’t respond back to your WTF? text. ”
5. Thank you so much for packing my lunch this week. I just have one favor to ask. Could you pack my lunch before you brush the dogs? Yesterday I had a ham, cheese and dog hair sandwich.”
-me- “Sorry. I don’t know why I always remember to pack your lunch when I’m in the middle of brushing one of them. I wash my hands, I swear. ”
-husband- You know what. I’ll just buy my lunch the rest of the week.”
They all seem like perfectly normal conversations to me and there’s several more where those came from but these are the ones that stood out this week.
So tell me, what weird conversations happen in your house?