The other day I had a close encounter with Leroy.
I’ve actually been having a little too many close encounters with Leroy.
Somethings up with him and he feels the need to literally be on top of me 24/7.
Maybe somebody has paid him to take me out.
I’m not quite sure.
Anyway, last week I was outside cleaning up dog poop in the yard and talking to my husband on my cell phone and out of nowhere Leroy took a flying a leap at me. I spilled all of the poop in the pooper scooper but somehow managed to hang onto the phone and shove Leroy off of me.
Trying to take me out while I’m cleaning up dog poop is so not cool.
Then Friday I was filling up his water bowl outside with the hose and he, again, tried to take me out.
Who tries to take somebody out when they’re trying to keep them hydrated on a warm summer afternoon?
Then yesterday I was sitting down on the floor helping Gracie make a book and out of no where Leroy comes trucking in, rounds the couch and flies on top of me. I stuck my hand out and yelled NOOOOOOO….as he was in mid leap. Then he landed on top of me and just stood there. For a second I thought about trying to squeeze under the couch to the other side but before I could try and scoot myself over that way Leroy suddenly jumped off of me and was confusingly looking around the room.
That’s when Gracie said:
“I did the ball tap thing to him Mom”
and I was like
and Gracie was like,
” I did the ball tap thing. You know like what you do to him when he jumps on Sherman. I just slightly tapped his balls with my hand and off he jumped. Just a little tap…tap…tap. You don’t have to thank me. I got your back Mom.”
Of which at that time I was like how many times did my daughter just say balls? and then I started to get concerned about what if she goes to school and tells her friends that she taps her dog’s balls when he jumps on her Mom. And then I started to get concerned of how she was going to explain to her friends why her dog has balls because no other 3rd grader has a dog that has balls.. How the hell is that going to go over for her?
So then we just had a little discussion about how we only to do that ball tapping thing to Leroy and never, ever any other dog or person for that matter. Please never a person. And let’s not tell other people we do this. They might think it’s a little weird. And while were on the subject, your friend’s dogs don’t have balls, they have those removed when they are puppies, and technically balls are called testicles.
No, not tentacles. TESTICLES.
I’m done now. I don’t want to have this conversation anymore.
***Disclosure. I feel the need to say this every time that I talk about the boys being intact, more so for people who are new readers to this blog, Leroy and Sherman are both intact. They are not neutered because they were show dogs and while they no longer show they still remain intact because I feel no need to neuter them at this time, and yes I do know that there are risks. I am responsible with their intactness. (which is not a word) I promise you that I do not let them go whoring around the neighborhood and we are not contributing to the over population of dogs that this country is faced with. Ok? Ok.