I’m just going to continue my talk about the adventures we have when we’re out hiking.
I don’t know, maybe I should start a new comedy series called “Adventures in Hiking.”
It’s a thought since I really don’t have anything else exciting going on in my life.
So we’ve already established that Leroy and I have started hiking together and I’ve found an actual trail that I really like and it’s one we have been going to at least once a week, sometimes more.
There’s nothing out of the ordinary about the trail, it’s a nice big trail that has beautiful scenery and it’s quiet and I don’t have to fear losing an eyeball.
It’s quiet because we go there during the day when everyone else is at work.
We rarely encounter anyone, which is nice and not nice because you told me that I need to be getting out and interacting with other people.
Baby steps. I’m taking baby steps.
Anyway….on this one day last week the trail was hoppin.
It was hoppin with senior citizens. Male senior citzens.
I don’t know if a a bus dropped them off or what but there was a lot of them and they were spread out all over the trails and they were on a mission. They weren’t looking to stop and chat.
They had to keep on movin.
Which was fine with me but every single one that walked passed us made some comment about me walking a bear.
Every single frickin one.
“Looks like you’re walking a bear.”
“That’s a bear not a dog.”
‘Nice bear you have there.”
and so and so on.
It happened at least a dozen times over 45 minutes. Which doesn’t seem like a lot but it is.
By about the 11th time I started looking around to see if someone was video taping me. Was I being PUNK’d and they were waiting for me to unleash on a senior citizen? Because we all know we are in Ohio and there are NOT bears walking on a leash in Ohio, right?
Or did they all have little microphones in their ears and they were all communicating with each other about the bear they saw in the woods.
Or…….did I fall and hit my head and I was laying on the ground unconscious and having the same nightmare over and over again?
It had to be because I was being PUNK’d because the last senior citizen that walked past us happened to walk by as Leroy was taking a poop and he had said:
” I guess bears really do shit in the woods.”
Totally said it. Without stopping. Just walked right on by and said it.
I can’t make this stuff up. True story and now I need a new favorite trail, cause I’m never, ever going back there again.