Let’s face it.
Most 37 year old women should not have the word “jerkface” in their vocabulary.
It’s just not proper edict.
However, in my defense most 37 year old women do not share their house with Leroy.
That in itself entitles me to use the word “jerkface” whenever I see it to be appropriate.
Take last week for instance.
I had just come home from picking up some dog food and I was carrying it through the kitchen. I knew that Leroy was following closely behind me when all of a sudden he jumped on my back.
Now….some people would probably think that Leroy was just excited to see that I bought him his food and was giving me a hug. I however, knowing Leroy a bit better, think it went something like this in his distorted head:
“Hmmm….I wonder what would happen if I, Leroy, a 150 pound dog, jumped on my mom’s back, a 110 pound (I rounded down) women’s back, while she was carrying 30 pounds of dog food?
Would she fall backwards? Would she fall forwards? or by some miracle would she not fall at all? I highly doubt she would stay standing, the odds are against her.
Let’s do this!”
Lucky for me Leroy decided to make his well thought out jump right as I was walking past the kitchen table.
So as he jumped and latched on to my waist he pushed me forward and the bag gently landed on the table.
I didn’t even have to push him off of me. He knew he was defeated and so he retreated.
It was at that time that I proudly picked up MY dog food and proceeded to head to my destination, but not without turning around and calling him a “jerkface” to his dumbfounded face.
And just so you know “jerkface” really means I Love You in Leroy language.
