No You Can Not Ride The Dog.

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Last weekend Gracie had her first birthday party.

Well, it wasn’t her first birthday party, I mean we have one for her every year, but it was the first birthday party where she invited some of her friends from school.

Which is fine, but it’s not. Of course I want her to have friends over to celebrate her birthday but when the kids have friends over to our house it’s not a very relaxing time for me. Instead of sitting back and enjoying the fun I’m in charge of a handful of other people’s children and that is quite stressful. From the allergy issues to the religion concerns it can get quite overwhelming.

This one is allergic to dairy products. This one can’t have meat. This one can’t have pop. This one can’t have wheat. This one is going to be really early to the party and this one is going to stay late.

But we’re having pepperoni pizza, cake, ice cream and pop and the party starts at 5:00 and ends at 8:00!

Not to mention the fact that we have Sherman and Leroy, which adds a whole different type of stress when we have a house filled with kids who have never seen dogs that look like bears.

Which is why we have a set protocol when the kids are inviting their friends over for a party.

  1. Do they have dogs?
  2. Do they have large dogs?
  3. Are they afraid of dogs?
  4. Are they allergic to dogs?

These are very important questions I need to know before they come over. Don’t worry, these questions aren’t listed on the invitations, but maybe they should be in the future.

So for Gracie’s party she had 6 friends coming over because that’s all the nine year old girls I thought I could handle. Two of the girls had dogs. One girl had a large dog and the other a very small dog, so I knew I was in for teaching some dog education classes.

Before the girls arrived I had Sherman and Leroy in a separate room of the house. Actually, they were in the man cave with my husband doing man things.

As soon as the girls started to arrive I knew I had made the right decision to keep the dogs in the man cave. The first 10 minutes was the worse as each of them arrived and were greeted with high pitch screams from the ones that were already here. Then the screaming and running started and I almost made a mad dash for the man cave.

I wanted the girls to have fun, but I was scared. Scared of the girly high-pitched screams. I was a little girl once and I’m sure my screams weren’t that high pitched, but if they were I apologize to every adult that may have been affected.

Luckily the girls settled down pretty quick and all began playing a game.

I could hear Sherman whining from the man cave and I suppose it was driving my husband and the other men nuts because he yelled up to me that he was letting Sherman up to the party.

So Sherman made his way up and greeted all the girls with a friendly tail wag and some slobber which sent the girls off in a screaming fit.

Which is exactly when the dog education class took place and I immediately went into this mode. .

  • No screaming by the dog.
  • No putting your face by the dog.
  • No running up to the dog.
  • No pulling on the dog.
  • One girl petting the dog at a time.

Are we clear?

Of course I went into more explanation with each rule but I don’t feel the need to go into that here with you because you all know the deal.

Then the floor was opened up for some Q & A.

The first little girl wanted to know why Sherman slobbered so much.

The second wanted to know how much he weighed.

The third wanted to know how much he ate and if he ate cats.

All very logical questions so far.

The fourth girl wanted to know if she could ride Sherman like a horse.

Oh no. The ride the dog question. A question that makes every responsible dog owner cringe.

I’m dealing with a child. I need to be delicate yet stern and try to educate as much as I can……………. but we ended up with this repetitive conversation instead:

Me: No you can not ride him.

Little Girl: Why?

Me: Because he’s not a horse, he’s a dog.

Little Girl: But he’s big like a horse.

Me: But he’s a D-O-G and one does not ride a dog.

Little Girl: Why?

Me: Because dogs were not made to be ridden. Their backs are not made that way. The bones in their back will break and you will hurt the dog and the dog could die. (so much for delicate)

Little Girl: If I was smaller could I ride him?

Me: No.

Little Girl: Did Gracie ever ride him?

Me: No.

Little Girl: Why?

Me: Because he’s a dog.

Little Girl: So I can not ride a dog, ever?

Me: That is correct. You can never ride a dog.

Then Sherman shook his head which sent slobber flying and the girls running and screaming, which in turn, ended our dog education class, and not a minute too soon because I was starting to get a twitch in my eye.

The rest of the party went on without a hitch and I’m happy to say that every girl left in one piece and no allergic reactions were had that I’m aware of. Leroy never made it to the party. He stayed down in the man cave. The vision of him trampling all of the girls as they ran squealing around the house was enough for me to have him sit this party out.

Another good party down in the books and a few more kids educated about dogs, maybe.

Little by little I shall reach them all. ;)

 

 

 

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81 Comments on No You Can Not Ride The Dog.

  1. Rottrover
    January 24, 2014 at 1:20 am (10 months ago)

    So…I’m still not clear. Can dogs be ridden? ☺️
    Rottrover recently posted…Regrets OnlyMy Profile

    Reply
    • Jen
      January 25, 2014 at 8:57 am (10 months ago)

      Lol. Twitch in the eye ;)

      Reply
  2. Daisy
    January 24, 2014 at 1:22 am (10 months ago)

    Sorry we’re laughin’. Don’t think the squealing goes away, you may have to do something like no party or go to a another venue.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

    Reply
    • Jen
      January 25, 2014 at 8:58 am (10 months ago)

      I thought about the other venue, but it was too late!

      Reply
  3. retro rover
    January 24, 2014 at 6:31 am (10 months ago)

    I was a child who grew up with no dogs and as a nascent dog lover I was endlessly obsessed by them. I may have asked that question. I think you did a good job educating the kids. So many children just dont know what to do around dogs. I have chosen not to have kids, for many reasons, one being I think it would be hard to combine dogs and kids, plus I work with special needs kids. I applaud you for being a parent who is good to their children and their dogs

    retro rover

    Reply
    • Jen
      January 25, 2014 at 9:01 am (10 months ago)

      Thank you! I have been trying to be more aware that not everyone has dogs and they might not know how to interact with them.

      Reply
    • Jen
      January 25, 2014 at 9:02 am (10 months ago)

      Kids asking that question is one thing because I know the dogs are soooo big to them, when adults ask it I want to cry ;)

      Reply
    • Jen
      January 25, 2014 at 9:02 am (10 months ago)

      They did! In instead of b birthday streamers we had slobber streamers!

      Reply
  4. Roxy the Traveling Dog
    January 24, 2014 at 9:02 am (10 months ago)

    You have great patience. I had 2 boys, so never had to tell with a bunch of little girls. Which is good, I hear jail can be lonely and hard. LOL

    Reply
    • Jen
      January 25, 2014 at 9:03 am (10 months ago)

      Thank you :) Yeah….my son’t parties seem to be a little less stressful. Less screaming and more rough housing!

      Reply
  5. Liz
    January 24, 2014 at 9:19 am (10 months ago)

    I enjoyed this post very much. While I have never been asked by a kid if the could ride my dog, we get asked all the time if they can hold Dexter, our beagle puppy. Then the 20 questions start.
    Liz recently posted…Dexter’s Temper Tantrum’sMy Profile

    Reply
    • Jen
      January 25, 2014 at 9:04 am (10 months ago)

      I can see how a puppy would lead to some fun and interesting questions!

      Reply
  6. Jessica
    January 24, 2014 at 9:38 am (10 months ago)

    Good job, spreading the word!

    We don’t have kids, and one of the standard parent-propaganda lines is “But you’ll love your *own* kids.” Stories like this remind me that, like potato chips, you can never have just one. They bring friends. Terrifying, squealing friends.
    Jessica recently posted…Sunny SideMy Profile

    Reply
    • Jen
      January 25, 2014 at 9:05 am (10 months ago)

      Lol. Love that analogy! Yep! Eventually there will be more and more!

      Reply
  7. Stella Rose
    January 24, 2014 at 10:23 am (10 months ago)

    Well see ours mom raised three little girls who always had 187 million little girls come over to their house for parties, it caused our mom a lot of anguish and ear drum damage…now though those little girls have all grown up and sometimes their friends still calls ours mom and tells her how much they enjoyed coming to ours house. It pays off in the end. Now as far as the houserules with the fourleggers, we are small but our Mom is super strict with the rules and everyone had better listen to hers cos it is for their and our own good.
    Good Job Mom!!
    Stella rose, Margaret Mae and Angus McConnell

    Reply
    • Jen
      January 25, 2014 at 9:08 am (10 months ago)

      3 girls? I couldn’t imagine, LOL!

      Right now we have Bobby’s friends who come and go as they please. I like that they feel comfortable in our house. They know the rules of the house and they are all welcome anytime!

      Reply
  8. Sharon Gilbert
    January 24, 2014 at 10:35 am (10 months ago)

    BOL! Love your birthday story! I am so glad other people have interesting birthday parties with dogs too.

    Reply
    • Jen
      January 25, 2014 at 9:09 am (10 months ago)

      Thank you! Yes, every party is interesting!

      Reply
  9. Mango Momma
    January 24, 2014 at 10:50 am (10 months ago)

    That high pitched noise is a fairly new thing (like in the last 20 years or so). Call me a big meany, but I never tolerated it either in my stepdaughter or from her friends. Not only does it agitate animals, it actually causes me physical pain as I have extremely sensitive hearing.

    I think it’s just as well that Leroy stayed in the man cave doing man things. Of course hump time would have afforded you the opportunity for more explanations about dogs.

    Me? I love kids. Especially once they’ve moved out and started paying their own bills.

    Mango Momma

    Reply
    • Jen
      January 25, 2014 at 9:10 am (10 months ago)

      I wouldn’t call you a big meanie at all! Screaming is normally not allowed here either, but they caught me off guard and I have to admit that for a bit I was like a deer caught in the headlights, I couldn’t move!

      Reply
  10. slimdoggy
    January 24, 2014 at 10:50 am (10 months ago)

    I can’t get that squealing out of my head now…Poor Sherman, I bet he’s disappointed he didn’t get to play “Hi Ho Silver!” Happy Birthday Gracie!
    slimdoggy recently posted…Exercising a Dog’s Body and Mind at K9KampMy Profile

    Reply
    • Jen
      January 25, 2014 at 9:11 am (10 months ago)

      Sherman was disappointed he didn’t get any cake or pizza-I think that is why he really want to join the party!

      Reply
  11. Jenna,Mark “HuskyCrazed” Drady
    January 24, 2014 at 11:36 am (10 months ago)

    Oh yea! Birthday parties with dogs are the worst! And you always get the kids that say oh no im not afraid of dogs, then they come and oh yea, their afraid LOL!
    ((husky hugz frum da pack))
    Jenna,Mark “HuskyCrazed” Drady recently posted…Woofs and Growls!My Profile

    Reply
    • Jen
      January 25, 2014 at 9:12 am (10 months ago)

      There was one little girl who hid behind the couch when she first saw Sherman. I felt so bad for her, but she eventually felt comfortable enough to give him some pets.

      Reply
  12. Marquie
    January 24, 2014 at 12:00 pm (10 months ago)

    LOL, the vision of Sherman spraying slobber over the girls and sending them running and screaming is too funny. I wish I could’ve seen that. ;P
    In the past we had two Great Danes (not at the same time) and we got the “Can I ride him?” or “Do you ride him?” questions all the time with both of them.

    You handled it all very well! I bet you slept well that night though, haha. I think the day my youngest sister outgrew birthday parties with friends was a happy day for my Mom. ;)
    Marquie recently posted…New Toys and a Training BraMy Profile

    Reply
    • Jen
      January 25, 2014 at 9:13 am (10 months ago)

      When do they outgrow it? Lol?

      Reply
      • Marquie
        January 25, 2014 at 8:58 pm (10 months ago)

        … When you move them to the sticks and they no longer have friends. Haha, just kidding, though we did do that. ;) For my youngest sister it was probably 11 or 12 by some miracle. My other two sisters were roughly around 13-14. For me, I was 15 when I had my last birthday party with friends over. After that I decided I was sick of my friends’ drama ruining my birthday, LOL.

        Avoid the dreaded slumber parties for as long as possible. ;P
        Marquie recently posted…Dancing for SnowMy Profile

        Reply
        • Jen
          January 27, 2014 at 7:44 pm (10 months ago)

          Lol. I will avoid them as long as I possibly can!

          Reply
  13. Two French Bulldogs
    January 24, 2014 at 12:14 pm (10 months ago)

    Next year make everyone wear color coded wrist bands for all their do’ sand don’ts
    Lily

    Reply
    • Jen
      January 25, 2014 at 9:14 am (10 months ago)

      That’s a great idea!

      Reply
  14. Tenacious Little Terrier
    January 24, 2014 at 12:16 pm (10 months ago)

    Did you pour yourself a nice glass of wine afterwards? I would have. I have the opposite problem where everyone wants to pick up Mr. N. I think there’s like five people who I trust to pick him up. Once or twice a stranger has picked him up without asking. To which I would have said no.
    Tenacious Little Terrier recently posted…FitDog Friday #19 – Exercising a Lazy DogMy Profile

    Reply
    • Jen
      January 25, 2014 at 9:15 am (10 months ago)

      I have to admit that when Gracie’s friends left I did have a beer or 2 ;)

      There are very few people who I trust with Sherman and Leroy so I know what you are saying!

      Reply
  15. jan
    January 24, 2014 at 12:17 pm (10 months ago)

    What wonderful patience you have and what a great dog lesson you could teach them. In the future though you might want to consider having a party at a pizza or ice cream parlor. After one home party i consider it money well spent.
    jan recently posted…There was never a Poodle grooming event in the OlympicsMy Profile

    Reply
    • Jen
      January 25, 2014 at 9:16 am (10 months ago)

      Yeah. I am thinking about that for next time! Gracie told me a week before here birthday that she wanted to invite some friends so she left me no choice!

      Reply
  16. Corbin
    January 24, 2014 at 12:39 pm (10 months ago)

    Can you educate my momma? She’s always saying that she really wants to foster a Chihuahua so it can ride me. Me, the Corbin. A Chihuahua. To ride me. Please tell her dogs are not to be ridden.
    Thanks!
    -Corbin

    Reply
    • Jen
      January 25, 2014 at 9:16 am (10 months ago)

      A Chihuahua would be perfect for you Corbin! You could put him in a little backpack :)

      Reply
  17. Blueberry's human
    January 24, 2014 at 1:01 pm (10 months ago)

    I think the most hilarious part is that your eye nearly began to twitch!!!

    I think you should consider getting the boys t-shirts that read ‘IF YOU TRY TO RIDE ME, I WILL MOST DEFINITELY SIT ON YOU AND THEN FLING COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF SALIVA ONTO YOUR FACE’.

    You know, I don’t even blame the kids – I blame their parents for not educating themselves better so they can then educate their children to keep everyone safe!
    Blueberry’s human recently posted…Communication BreakdownMy Profile

    Reply
    • Jen
      January 25, 2014 at 9:18 am (10 months ago)

      That is a great idea!

      I think that parents who have dogs should definitely be educating their children!

      Reply
  18. Jen K
    January 24, 2014 at 1:09 pm (10 months ago)

    Hahaha!
    Well-handled if you ask me!
    I get the riding question for Moses sometimes, but rarely so persistent. But mentioning spinal surgery really does a good job of shutting that line of questioning down. Or, pre-surgery, I’d mention he could maybe pull them around in a cart one day and that seemed just as good.
    No one seems to want to ride Alma. But she’s squirrelly sometime, so I understand why.
    Jen K recently posted…What To Do If You’re Scared of DogsMy Profile

    Reply
    • Jen
      January 25, 2014 at 9:19 am (10 months ago)

      Darn it! The cart is a great idea! I should of thought of that!

      Yeah, I don’t think anyone would want to ride Leroy either. It would be like a rodeo!

      Reply
    • Jen
      January 25, 2014 at 9:20 am (10 months ago)

      It was kind of painful ;)

      Reply
  19. Flea
    January 24, 2014 at 1:28 pm (10 months ago)

    Dang it! You should have let Leroy out to trample the girls. And gotten it on video. People pay good money to watch that kind of thing.
    Flea recently posted…Dog Poetry CornerMy Profile

    Reply
    • Jen
      January 25, 2014 at 9:20 am (10 months ago)

      Haha, no way! I probably would of been sued!

      Reply
    • Jen
      January 25, 2014 at 9:21 am (10 months ago)

      Lol. As far as we know, he does not eat cats ;)

      Reply
    • Jen
      January 25, 2014 at 9:21 am (10 months ago)

      I seriously thought about it because my Mom was here and she could of handled it :)

      Reply
  20. Yes I Know My Dogs Look Funny
    January 24, 2014 at 5:40 pm (10 months ago)

    Oof. Back in my younger days we didn’t have issues like allergies or religious issues. We went to the party, ate the cake and no one died from shock. Of course, we wouldn’t have asked about riding the dog, we just would have ridden it…
    Yes I Know My Dogs Look Funny recently posted…Hi Grammy!My Profile

    Reply
    • Jen
      January 25, 2014 at 9:22 am (10 months ago)

      That’s exactly how it was back in my days! We would of eaten way too much sugar and candy and then went home and had a stomach ache for a few hours!
      Times have changed so much!

      Reply
    • Jen
      January 25, 2014 at 9:23 am (10 months ago)

      I might be able to convince some of them to join us ;)

      Reply
  21. M. K. Clinton
    January 24, 2014 at 8:57 pm (10 months ago)

    I laughed so hard reading your post. I hate to tell you in on this but…wait until they’re teenagers! The screaming gets louder and you have it intermingled with bouts of hysterical crying and mean girls. Sorry.
    M. K. Clinton recently posted…A Thoughtless Thursday Conversation with BentleyMy Profile

    Reply
    • Jen
      January 25, 2014 at 9:24 am (10 months ago)

      I don’t want to know that! Lol ;)

      Reply
  22. KB
    January 24, 2014 at 9:50 pm (10 months ago)

    I am laughing and laughing!!! I’m a really small adult – so can I ride a dog??? Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

    I admire you for putting on that party!
    KB recently posted…Mountain LoveMy Profile

    Reply
    • Jen
      January 25, 2014 at 9:25 am (10 months ago)

      Lol. How small? Just kidding! Only guinea pigs can ride the dog :)

      Reply
    • Jen
      January 25, 2014 at 9:25 am (10 months ago)

      Lol :)

      Reply
  23. Bethany
    January 25, 2014 at 3:41 am (10 months ago)

    When I as a kid, I had a friend with Newfies that someone would want to ride at every party she had. My friends parents were a bit more sarcastic with a whole “go ahead and try” response that made for a hilarious trampling (can I say that? No dog or kid was actually injured so…) and slobbered-upon-attempted-riders-face-fest that all dog-knowledgable kids (and probably adults) who witnessed enjoyed. Now my friend who’s family raised Great Danes… those were very different parties- those dogs jumped a lot and tried to ride the kids!
    Bethany recently posted…Dogs Over The River And Through The Woods, To Alki Beach We GoMy Profile

    Reply
    • Jen
      January 25, 2014 at 9:26 am (10 months ago)

      That’s a good approach too!

      I was thinking Leroy might try to ride the kids and I didn’t want to take any chances!

      Reply
  24. Happy Healthy Dog Blog
    January 25, 2014 at 8:14 am (10 months ago)

    Love your story!! I used to have Great Danes so I understand your frustrations. They either totally frightened little kids who ran away, or fascinated them, and often asked the riding question! My male was particularly big and black and as I walked past people with him I’d often hear them say “He’s like a horse” We had an “in joke” whenever we saw a big black horse we’d say “He’s like a Knight” (my boy’s name) :)
    Happy Healthy Dog Blog recently posted…The Grazing Dog – Why Do Dogs Eat GrassMy Profile

    Reply
    • Jen
      January 25, 2014 at 9:28 am (10 months ago)

      I can only imagine how many times you get asked that question with the Danes!

      There was a bear on TV a few days ago and my daughter said “Hey, that looks like Sherman” It was so funny!

      Reply
    • Jen
      January 27, 2014 at 7:36 pm (10 months ago)

      I’ll be waiting for it :)

      Reply
  25. JeanneP
    January 25, 2014 at 5:26 pm (10 months ago)

    OMG Jen!!! My husband and I are rolling on the floor! What a hilarious post!! Especially because we remember the parties my daughter had here. Our biggest problem was the pool. The pool rules were similar to the Dog Education Class. You made our day. I will not tell you what Middle School was like. You don’t want to know!!
    JeanneP recently posted…Walk With Me!My Profile

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    • Jen
      January 27, 2014 at 7:37 pm (10 months ago)

      Oh yeah, the damn pool rules….those are so important too!

      I don’t want to know about Middle School, I know how I was and I can’t even imagine Gracie ;)

      Reply
  26. Jen
    January 25, 2014 at 6:48 pm (10 months ago)

    I…uh…don’t remember ever screaming like that. That high pitched “OMG!!!1111″ excited flail thing? No, I never did that. Nor did I know people who did that. I saw it on TV and was perpetually amazed by it.

    Dogs are not for riding. The end.
    Jen recently posted…Madison is safe and found, but you can still help her out!My Profile

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    • Jen
      January 27, 2014 at 7:38 pm (10 months ago)

      I know! I don’t ever remember it either. Lol :)

      Reply
  27. tylersat99
    January 26, 2014 at 12:59 am (10 months ago)

    I love this post and you have more courage than I. To save my dogs a tiny Pomeranian, small Shih-Tzu and large Pyrenees the cat and mostly myself (I am not good with lots of children). We had all the parties at Pizza Hut, McDonalds and Chucky Cheese (which I especially hate). Everyone came and left alive;)
    tylersat99 recently posted…Newfy SaturdayMy Profile

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    • Jen
      January 27, 2014 at 7:39 pm (10 months ago)

      Yeah, these days it’s a bounce party or something. I think next year maybe we’ll do a bowling or ice skating party!

      Reply
  28. Ann Staub
    January 27, 2014 at 2:06 am (10 months ago)

    Haha this is too funny… I usually keep my dog away during parties because she isn’t stranger friendly sometimes. I know exactly how you feel with these parties! Mine is 9 and had hers back in September… they sure are a lot of work! One little girl was just a complete drama queen the whole time which kind of ruined the mood. I had to give some lessons in rat handling because I let them see our pet rat. Drama queen was not so gentle!
    Ann Staub recently posted…Should You Give Your Dog a Probiotic Supplement?My Profile

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    • Jen
      January 27, 2014 at 7:40 pm (10 months ago)

      Lol. I admire you going there with the rat Ann! I didn’t even mention we had a guinea pig in the house ;)

      Reply
  29. Hawk aka BrownDog
    January 27, 2014 at 7:59 am (10 months ago)

    Hi Y’all!

    That is too, too funny! BOL!!! So glad everyone survived!

    Happy belated birthday, Gracie!

    Y’all come by now,
    Hawk aka BrownDog
    Hawk aka BrownDog recently posted…Monday’s MischiefMy Profile

    Reply
    • Jen
      January 27, 2014 at 7:40 pm (10 months ago)

      Thanks Hawk!

      Reply
  30. 2browndawgs
    January 27, 2014 at 10:30 am (10 months ago)

    See and that is why you are a mom and I am not. When little girl said why can’t I ride him….I would have said because I said so. lol I had exactly one girl’s birthday party growing up. It so scared my poor mother that neither me, nor my sibling ever had another. Little girls can be brutal…lol.
    2browndawgs recently posted…The Dog Next DoorMy Profile

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    • Jen
      January 27, 2014 at 7:41 pm (10 months ago)

      Lol. I think I only had a few growing up too, girls in general can just be brutal!

      Reply
  31. Jodi
    January 28, 2014 at 3:33 pm (10 months ago)

    Bless you Jen. You have far more patience than I do. I really don’t like having children around my dogs at all, especially Delilah.

    I think you handled it very well and probably far nicer than I would have. LOL
    Jodi recently posted…Shit My Dog EatsMy Profile

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  32. Vicki
    January 30, 2014 at 10:23 am (10 months ago)

    I’m late to this post but enjoyed it very much. I, too, would have ended up with a twitchy eye. ;)

    Reply
  33. Nichole
    February 2, 2014 at 3:23 pm (10 months ago)

    I’m sorry… I’m laughing way too hard over here, complete with tears running down my face, from reading the title of this post to actually be able to read THE post………. lol
    Nichole recently posted…Black & White Sunday: Nap TimeMy Profile

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