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Welcome to the Gun Show. My Dogs Gave Me Guns and When I Say Guns I Mean Muscles.

Alright, I am going to tell you guys a little story.

I’m only telling you this because we’re like family.

You visit here when I post and you take the time to leave a comment.

We have never met in person, but you know me.

You know my dogs, you know my kids.

I’m pretty much an open book.

Therefore, I feel that I can share this story with you and you won’t think any less of me than you already do and if you do, so be it.

My dogs have given me guns.

Now when I say guns I mean muscles in my arms, you know biceps and triceps.

These guns magically appeared last year.

I am so serious. I never had guns before.

I don’t work out and I most certainly do not lift weights.

I walk my dogs and push Leroy off of me.

That’s it.

So I have to suspect that my dogs gave me my guns.

I am not going to show you a picture of my guns because I am not that vain, and I can’t do a post without any pictures because that is boring, so I will show you pictures of the dogs that are responsible for my guns.

Walking 150 pounds of dog on each side of me has given me muscles.

I’ve been keeping the guns under wrap for awhile, but I think they are getting bigger and I can’t hide them anymore.

The guns are usually hidden under my scrubs, or sweats, and well, they only really come out in the summer when I am wearing a tank top and start flexing.

Now wait, that came out wrong.

I don’t stand around in a tank top and flex.

Alright, I did once, this weekend, at the party, in front of all my aunts and uncles.

It was embarrassing.

I was talking to my sister about a little conversation I had at work the other day with one of the docs when I was holding a dog for her during an exam.

The dog was big and happy and did not want to sit still for the exam. So I had to put some muscle into it. I guess my guns popped out and the doc noticed them, and said, “Whoa. Where did you get those guns?” I laughed and told her they magically appeared last year. She said they were nice. Then I said “welcome to the gun show.” She laughed. I laughed. It was a good time.

So anyway, as I was telling my sister this story my uncle overheard and looked at me and shouted, “Holy smokes Jen, where did you get those guns?”

I said, “What these?” and I flexed my muscles.

Before I knew it the whole party was looking at me flexing and then they started laughing.

I was a little embarrassed and started blushing.

Fast forward a few hours………………..I went to the bathroom and was checking my hair in the mirror and adjusting my tank top, when all of a sudden my guns caught my eye and I started flexing the mirror, and I kissed my guns.

I did.

For real.

So embarrassing.

When I caught myself doing it I blushed a bit.

I walked back out to the party a little embarrassed of the act that I just performed behind close doors in the bathroom.

I sat down next to Bobby with a little smile on my face and laid my head on the table.

Bobby looked at me and asked what was wrong. By this time I was giggling a bit.

Then he said, “Mom, were you just standing in the mirror flexing your muscles?”

“I most certainly was NOT!” I shouted.

“Yes you were!” Bobby exclaimed. “I can totally tell by the look on your face!”

“But they’re big and I’ve never had them before.” I explained to him.

“They might be big, but they don’t do anything. You can’t even lift the patio table. Your guns are just for show. They have no power” Bobby told me.

The kids got a point. I don’t know what is wrong with them, they’re there but they don’t do anything but walk dogs and make people laugh.

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farfetchedapparel.com

Alright, I’m done. Thank you for coming to the gun show. You don’t ever have to return if you don’t want to.

I’ll understand.

I’m embarrassed for me too.

 

 

 

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Maria Sadowski

Friday 28th of June 2013

Hahahahahaha! You rock! =D

Karen Friesecke

Sunday 24th of June 2012

Since you keep your guns hidden, do you have to apply for a concealed weapons permit? :P

Jen

Monday 25th of June 2012

OMD! Thanks for the reminder! I forgot to renew it! :))))

Beth

Sunday 24th of June 2012

That's awesome! I may need to get some bigger dogs :)

Jen

Monday 25th of June 2012

Ha-ha! Maybe just a few medium size ones!

Mango Momma

Sunday 24th of June 2012

That's too funny. I hurt my elbow a few years back and one of the first things they did at PT was test my hand strength. My left hand was, seriously, close to ten times my right. Why? I primarily use my left hand to hold leashes. Can you say death grip? Congratulations on your pumpitude.

Mango Momma

Jen

Sunday 24th of June 2012

Ha-ha! I here you, When I walk the dogs I have a death grip on the leashes, my arms are tense. It's not because they are bad at walking-I am just on guard-just in case:)

sprinkles

Saturday 23rd of June 2012

I used to have them too. I had to stock stuff and do inventory at an old job. I kind of miss them now. Maybe I can come borrow your dogs?! lol

Jen

Sunday 24th of June 2012

Why certainly, but only for a bit I don't want my guns to go to mush:)))

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