A Dash Of Dog Hair

The other night I was dishing up dinner for the kids.

We were having ham and noodles.

As I dished up a plate for Gracie I noticed a dog hair. There was no mistaking it. It was definitely a Sherman hair.

Like any good mother would do I picked it out and threw it on the floor and moved onto dishing up a plate for Bobby.

Same thing happened.

Another Sherman hair in the ham and noodles.

Apparently this dish called for a dash of dog hair.

Whatever. On the floor it goes.

So I dish up mine and wouldn’t you know, there was a Sherman hair in mine too.

I don’t know where it was all coming from. Every time I looked in the pan I didn’t see any dog hair which means maybe it was coming from my sleeves because I gave Sherman a ginormous hug when I came from work.

Maybe it was in the butter.

Butter attracts dog hair.

Maybe my butter fell on the floor and someone picked it up and placed it on the counter and I didn’t realize it.

Whatever.

Everybody knew I picked a dog hair out of their ham and noodles and no one cared.

Dog hair makes things taster better, right?

Now if this was human hair that I was pulling out of my ham and noodles I would of thrown the whole pan out and then went and puked.

Human hair in food is nasty and gross.

It’s the worst thing ever.

I remember when I was younger and i was eating a piece of pizza and I took a bite and there was the longest human hair ever on it. The hair was under the cheese and it was awful. I will never forget it.

I dry heaved for 20 minutes after that and you can bet your butt I still peek under the cheese before I take a bite of pizza now.

Had that of been a dog hair it wouldn’t of been an issue. Maybe the pizza man had his dog at work with him.

That’s cool.

But the fact that the hair on my pizza belonged to a human and not a man is just icky.

Am I alone here? Is dog hair an acceptable condiment in food and human hair is not or is any type of hair in food just unacceptable?

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