I had a bad weekend of stepping on dogs.
I stepped on Sherman at least 7 times and Leroy once that I can remember.
I don’t know what it was. Maybe my perception was off.
Paw, tail, leg. Any extremity that was sticking out, I stepped on it.
I think I even stepped on his elbow once.
Now anyone who doesn’t have a Newf is probably thinking , ” How do you step on a dog THAT big?”
And anyone with a Newfie will tell you, it just happens.
Newfies are notorious for being “velcro’ dogs. They stick to you wherever you go and lay in the worst possible spots that they can lay in.
They block doorways.
They block several appliances at once.
They stand up when you walk over them and all of a sudden have a 150 pound dog in your crotch. It’s usually when you’re carrying something, like 8 bags of groceries and a gallon of milk.
Or you try so carefully to step over them as their body is sprawled out across the entry way but as soon as your foot is 1 inch from being planted firmly on the ground, they kick a leg out.
Then they look at you like, “OMG. I can’t believe you just stepped on me. I thought you loved me.”
So even though you’ve just twisted your ankle and you’re in excruciating pain, you hobble down and beg for their forgiveness.
Or you could be bustling in the kitchen trying to get dinner ready, stepping over a giant dog a dozen times that has strategically planted himself in front of the fridge, sink and oven, and one time you misjudge the step over.
“Why are you laying in front of the oven on a 90 degree day?!!!”
Forget about telling them to move because you just don’t do that to a Newfie.
You NEVER ask a Newfie to move, unless it’s done softy and with please and thank you. But you’re still taking a risk if you do. Those deep brown soft droopy eyes will cut right through your heart.
“You want moi to move? You want moi to move my giant body to another part of the room to make YOUR life easier?”
No. No I don’t. I’ll just wait to get the rolls out of the oven until YOUR ready to move. If they burn, they burn. We’ll just have bread and butter for dinner.
So that’s how it goes down here.
I’m not sure how it goes down at your house.
And I’m not blaming the Newf.
It’s 100% my fault for not being able to plant my feet properly.
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