On Saturday, August 17th, 2019 at around 10:00 in the morning my family and I said good-bye to Sherman.
Sherman was 12 years 9 months old and a retired champion, nanny to my children, guardian of Leroy, best friend to my husband and keeper of my heart.
He was loved by many including my parents and my sister and so many people from around the world.
We were blessed with having the bestest brown Newfie and his physical presence in this world will be missed beyond words.
I know that many of you are wondering what happened because this was unexpected and I just needed a few days to process everything and grieve before I came to write about it.
Actually, I didn’t want to write about it because writing about it makes it too real.
Putting it here on the blog means it’s permanent and that Sherman is gone.
I still haven’t fully accepted that and I probably won’t for some time.
The truth is that I don’t have any real answers for you.
There’s no name for it, there’s no diagnosis.
Sherman has been slowing declining for a while now.
His mobility was getting less and his pain more.
Some days he wanted to eat and some days he didn’t.
That’s how it’s been.
Last week everything just went downhill fast.
He stopped eating completely, even turning his nose up to treats and french fries.
He stopped wanting to go outside.
He started shutting down. His body and mind.
I spent all my time with him and we kept him comfortable for as long as we could and when it was apparent that wasn’t going to be for as long as we would like, we looked at his quality of life and made the difficult decision to let him go without further suffering.
It all happened very, very fast.
What I can tell you is that Sherman was ready.
I didn’t know this until after, but he was definitely ready.
He went peacefully and quickly surrounded by his family.
He was so ready that I think he passed when the Propofol was given.
His eyes were closed and he just went to sleep.
At that time, we could not have asked for a more peaceful way for him to leave.
I hope this gives you some closure. As for me, it makes me feel that I made the right decision.
As far as Leroy is concerned, time will tell.
He’s doing o.k.
It’s hard to determine that right now. While he’s a lot better, he’s still not 100% back to being healthy but he’s getting there and I don’t have any red flags.
We are watching him closely for signs of depression.
Leroy has never been the only dog and I don’t know if he knows how to be that way.
He’s a dog’s dog whereas Sherman was a people’s dog.
Leroy prefers dogs over people.
Leroy was more into Sherman than Sherman was into Leroy so I just don’t know how things are going to play out.
Will we be adding another Newf?
Yes but not right away.
We had already planned way before this to add another Newfie to our family in 2020.
How’s my family doing?
They are coping. It was very hard on the kids because Sherman has been here for most of their lives but they also started back to school today so they have their minds preoccupied.
My husband is coping as best as he can and has his moments of sadness.
He had his own special time and routine with Sherman so I know it’s hurting him.
I’m going through the motions.
The pain is indescribable and the tears come and go as they please.
I miss him and I always will.
Sherman and sunflowers were always 2 of most favorite things and on Sunday the first sunflower in my garden bloomed.
I’m taking it as a sign from Sherman that he’s letting me know he’s o.k.
As far as the blog, it will always be here.
This is Sherman’s legacy and it will go on.
You’ll see pictures of him here and on social media.
I’ll never stop sharing him.
To end, I wanted to thank everyone for all of the kind words, love and condolences. My family and I have read all of the comments through tears and they are amazed at how many people Sherman has touched over the years.
I think they might even understand why I do what I do here now.
I do apologize for not responding to your comments. Please don’t take that the wrong way.
I just can’t right now but I feel all of your love and it’s helping me grieve.
As I’m sure most you know, at times like this we feel alone in our grief but hearing stories about your losses and knowing that we and everyone else who loses a special dog is not alone does offer much comfort.
Love to you all,
Jen
Denise
Sunday 1st of September 2019
Oh Jen, I am crying ugly tears. So much my family is asking "why are you crying"? I answer, "my friend lost her beloved furry family member". It is a pain for which their are no words. If you have loved a dog you know. They are not with us for nearly enough time and that is truly their only fault. I love the sign of the sunflower. Lots of hugs to you and your family.
Melinda
Saturday 31st of August 2019
Thank you for sharing Sherman's eulogy. Sherman and Leroy have been part of our Newfoundland conversation for some time. Your loving, informative posts along with the charming pictures firmly attached you and the boys to our family. My heart breaks for your loss, a loss shared by so many. Gentle hugs, dear Jen.
Cathy Haage
Wednesday 28th of August 2019
I just now found your blog about Sherman. I am so sorry for the pain you’re going through. I read it with tears streaming down my face. I only knew your boys through your blog but I have two 10 1/2 year old Newf brothers who have never been apart and I worry about when that time comes. It is so hard to see them start to slow down. Praying that your wonderful memories will comfort you at this time. Give lots of hugs to Leroy.
Sandy Weinstein
Friday 23rd of August 2019
you did answer some of my questions because i had wondered what had happened because you had just posted pics of him a few days earlier and spoke abt Sherman. i am so very sorry. it is rough, you just never know when it is really time. you want them here for you because you love them sooo much but you have to make the hard decision of what is best for them. my oldest passed away in my arms after fighting histiocytic sarcoma for almost a year. it was not expected when she passed, because we had just seen the cancer vet and reg vet the day before and both said she had at least another 6 mos or more. she was not in pain. so i was broken for a very long time even though i have 2 other girls. the youngest went into a very deep depression. she was very close even though there was a big age difference. it has been 3 yrs, i still cry. .....i dont think you ever get over the loss. i know Sherman is looking down on you as an Angel with sunflowers. you gave him the very best life. thank you for sharing both Sherman and Leroy with all of us.
Jessica Rhae (@YDWWYW)
Thursday 22nd of August 2019
I'm very sorry Jen. I know you did the right thing but saying goodbye is still so, so hard. It stabbed me a little bit each time I unexpectedly scrolled pas a picture of Chester on my blog after he was gone. In the end though, I started to smile. I'm glad to have pictures of him online that live on.