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How Dog Slobber Helps Me In The Bedroom

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Dog slobber. It’s a way of life around here.

We deal with it and embrace it and we find ways to make it work to our advantage.

Take last week for example.

My husband and I were flipping the mattress on our bed like we do every so often when we remember. There’s no set mattress flipping schedule it just happens.

Flipping the mattress takes two people because it’s a king size mattress and we have a ceiling fan with a light that sits over the bed.

It’s a delicate operation and we always wind up hitting the light no matter how hard we try not to. So on this day as we were flipping it we were also carrying on a conversation about something that was super important at the time but not so important that I still remember what it was.

We were deep in conversation and not really paying attention to what we were doing.

As far as we knew we flipped the mattress but it went too smoothly, there was no swearing or broken lights, so I questioned my husband if we actually did flip it our we just lifted it and set it back down.

We both looked at each other and thought about it and came up with nothing so we laid down and tested it out.

Still nothing.

I couldn’t tell if there was a difference and neither could he.

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Then it hit me. My side of the mattress has dog slobber on it because Sherman is always right there every morning with his slobbery face staring at me until I wake up.

“Check for dog slobber!” I shouted.

“If there’s dog slobber on your side then we flipped it! If it’s still on my side we didn’t flip it!”

“I’m a genius! I’m a genius!” I was shouting as my husband was staring at me like I was crazy.

Sure enough the dog slobber was still on my side of the bed right where Sherman left it.

Which means we did NOT flip the mattress, which means I’m really NOT a genius but that dog slobber still and always will, rule.

Note 1- we did not go back and flip the mattress after we found out that we didn’t flip it in the first place. The whole thing was just too exhausting.

Note 2 -if anyone came here thinking that you were going to find something kinky, you are just wrong in every way possible. Wrong, wrong and wrong.

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Jodi

Friday 20th of June 2014

I should like you to wear a camera on your head so I could see your husband's reactions, I think that would be priceless.

Ms. Smith

Thursday 19th of June 2014

This is funny! You got me with your title! :)

Jan K

Monday 16th of June 2014

LOL....when I saw your title I did wonder where this story was going to go!

Beth

Friday 13th of June 2014

Too funny!

slimdoggy

Thursday 12th of June 2014

I'm a little disappointed it wasn't something kinky...

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