I recently went to see my doctor for a thyroid check. When I was there she asked me how I was feeling.
“Tired, achy, moody, a little nasally but I’m good. ” I said
But of course she wanted more so I had to explain.
“My knees hurt. But I’m getting older so I know that comes with the territory.”
So then she checked out the knees which were working fine but a little slow.
“You probably have some arthritis in there but nothing too concerning. If it gets worse let me know and we’ll do some further investigating.” the doc said.
Then she said, “Wait. You have those big dogs don’t you? That’s how you dislocated your shoulder a few years ago.”
“Yep.” I said
“Have they pulled you down lately?” she asked.
“Pulled, no. Knocked over, knocked down and knocked into, yes.” I laughed.
“They take a toll on your body for sure.” she said.
And then we did the dog talk for a little bit and I left.
That night as I sat on the couch with my achy knees I thought about how much Newfie abuse they take.
Between the Newfie nudges, being a ping-pong ball among two grown Newfs as we walk down the stairs and out the door, and Leroy trying to hyperextend them because he sneaks up behind me 20 times a day, my knees are probably the part of my body that takes on the most daily damage.
Perhaps I need a pair of knee pads.
Like Newfie nudgers.
They would protect my knees and the Newfs.
You know what I’m talking about when I say Newfie nudges, right?
When you’re trying to go from point A to point B but there’s a stationary fluffy butt blocking your way and looking at you because they want you to open the door but they think you can magically morph your body through their body.
This fluffy butt has also forgotten what the word “move” means so you gently nudge them with your knees and say, “You need to move so that I can move.” and then they get the point and move 2 inches to the left so that you can get by.
That’s where Newfie Nudgers would come in handy.
They protect your knees while protecting the Newf.
It’s a nice cushy nudge, not a bony knee nudge.
Anyway, I think someone should design these.
I’d buy them.
p.s Don’t look up what a nudger means in the Urban Dictionary.