To You, From Jen

I know that some people have been wondering what happened to Leroy but haven’t wanted to reach out to ask. 

I’m fine with people being curious and wanting to know. 

After all, he was a big part of your life too and you loved him.

You deserve to know. 

It’s just taken me a bit to process it all and now that I think that I have, I’m more at ease talking about it without breaking down. 

Leroy was sick. 

He’s been sick for years and most of you know that. 

The Inflammatory Bowel Disease took ahold of him 6 years ago and we’ve been battling it ever since. 

It was a long battle filled with many bad days but also many good days. 

Leroy was a fighter and fought that battle every single day and we gave him the tools to fight it and we would do it all over again in a heartbeat. 

If you were following Leroy’s story in 2019 than you most likely saw a decline happening. 

Or maybe you didn’t because sometimes you had to look really closely like I did. 

Leroy’s spirit always over shined his illness so it would be easy to miss for some. 

But, when I go back and look through pictures of last year, I can see it a lot clearer. 

He started off the year boomin on the outside. 

His IBD was still in the picture and we were trying to get a grip on it before he took a downward spiral. 

We did that successfully in a way but we weren’t able to stop it completely, just slow it down.

In my world, the decline started around August because that’s when he started struggling with his backend.

Around September is when you may have visually started to see the decline but keep in mind that his coat hid a lot. 

After that came the muscle wasting and the weight loss. 

He was slowly losing both but we tried to keep him going. 

In December he started with soft stool again and then intermittent vomiting. 

We adjusted meds and added meds. 

By January he was skin and bones.

The muscle atrophy was apparent in his head and everywhere else. 

We adjusted meds again. 

The week that Leroy passed away he had started to get disoriented. 

I didn’t realize at first but then it was obvious. 

He wasn’t all there. 

I mean, he never really was technically (lol) but he started looking through me.

Then he stopped eating.

I said I would give him 24 hours to show some improvement but I gave him 48 hours because he’s Leroy and he has this amazing way of making miraculous recoveries. 

But by that time, the edema had come back in his back legs and he had no feeling left in his back legs. 

His body was shutting down and it was time. 

We did our best to make our last day together happy and Leroy got his dream meal of cheeseburgers and french fries and endless hugs and kisses. 

He was brave and he went peacefully surrounded by his family. 

And now he’s back home with Sherman.

Was it the IBD or old age?

If you would have asked me that a week ago I would have told it was a combination of both but now that I’ve had time to process it, it was the IBD.

It sucked the life out of him and he fought it for as long as he could. 

Leroy was a strong boy with a will to live. If he didn’t have IBD he would have been with us many more years.

And for that, I will always hate this disease. 

Where do we go from here?

The house is quieter and the backyard is emptier but my heart is still very full.

And now I’m here trying to get used to our new normal. 

What is normal? I have no idea. 

It’s not the beginning, it’s not the end.

It’s the middle. 

This is the first time in 20 years that we’ve only had 1 dog and I’m o.k. with that right now.

We are enjoying our time with Odin and spoiling him as much as possible. 

He is a blessing and he has helped me through all of this more than I can ever tell you and that is exactly why he was chosen.

I saw it in his eyes that he was going to be the one. 

There will be other dogs. No doubt. 

Sherman and Leroy have paved the way for my life to be blessed with many more Newfies.

But I’m not going to rush into anything. 

As far as this blog goes, it will continue, I’m just trying to figure things out. 

Some days it’s painful to be here and some days it’s not and I’m sure it will be like that for some time to come. 

I want to personally thank you all for your love and support. 

If you’ve sent messages and I didn’t get back to you, I apologize. 

For a bit there I wasn’t able to emotionally leave my house, answer my phone or respond to messages. 

I’m in a better place now, I promise. 

I hope that answers some of your lingering questions and if not, please feel free to ask me. 

p.s. Odin is doing good. He looked for Leroy a few times but they never really bonded. 

If anything, Odin has come a bit more out of his shell. 

He guards the yard now in typical Newfie fashion and he’s started to talk back a bit too!

 

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